DIETARY DOSSIER ALL IN A DAY'S WORK

HERE’s something to think about: you’re responsible for feeding and watering a thousand-something passengers on a luxury liner sailing to the Caribbean, and with Florida 12-hours behind you, and the Caribbean 24 hours away in front of you, you’re told all the milk aboard for cooking and drinking is most likely “off?”

Or on another ship at another time, somehow someone’s missed loading the coffee for your largely (coffee-swilling) American clientele?

And how about when “a few dietary requests” from a couple of guests turns out to be a 37-page dossier as to just what they can and cannot eat, and exactly how everything’s to be prepared and cooked for their breakfasts, lunches and dinners – plus afternoon teas and supper-time snacks?

(Which leaves in its shade the couple who came on board and merely asked that once a day their meals come with a baked yam and a butternut squash for each of them…)

Most of us faced with such requests would probably search-out a cool dark spot in which to slurp copious quantities of liquid tranquilisers and ponder what we’re doing living this life at sea.

Not David Wood. This remarkably unflappable Canadian who’s been Manager of Culinary Operations aboard Holland America Line’s luxury Ryndam for the past couple of years, and exudes the impression he’s in the same class as the musicians who went down with the Titanic, simply gives a little laugh, shrugs, and says “it all comes with the day.”

So how did he handle the milk problem? “All 3000 cartons had well-in-advance use-by dates, but we quickly realised we’d got a problem,” he says in understatement. “So we opened every one of them, gave each an individual taste-test, and those that didn’t come up to scratch – which was most of them – we tossed away.

“I then sent a personal note to every passenger apologizing that we’d have to ration what milk we had ‘til we got to our first Caribbean island, and there I hit every supermarket I could find, and bought-up every carton of milk they had.

“And, you know, there wasn’t a single guest complain… I think because we told it exactly as it was.”

Much like the coffee problem in Mexico: he just strolled over to a food warehouse he knew was opposite the jetty at their first port of call, and bought every jar on the shelves. “They thought it was Christmas!” David says.

And that 37-page dining dossier?

“They were a lovely couple, but could only eat meat, fish and vegetables prepared in a particular way. They gave us recipes for sauces to go with main courses and desserts, one for the stuffing to go with their favourite chicken dish for which they provided the recipe, and another for their own cookies… complete with brands of ingredients to be used.”

And did it faze him? “Not really,” David says. “They’d actually sent it to us well before their cruise, and much like you’d do with a family shop, we just went out and bought everything they wanted.

“Then we assigned one of the galley staff to make everything exactly as they wanted… after all, they were paying top dollar for the ship’s Penthouse, and their requests were seen by them more as health issues than fussy eating.

“And at the end of the cruise we got a kick out of having them compliment us on how we’d really made their holiday, as everything had been done exactly as they’d requested… but I doubt I’d like to do it every cruise!”

If this caring attitude sounds like your sort of cruise holiday, Holland America’s thirteen luxury liners sail the world’s major cruise destinations from North Cape to the Antarctic, the Caribbean, South Pacific and the Mediterranean.

And their 5-star Statendam will be in our backyard from this October to early 2008, doing several cruises between Sydney and New Zealand – with the emphasis firmly on elegance, classic dining indulgence, and good old-fashioned pampering.

See travel agents for itineraries and prices, or phone Travel the World on 1800 226 526, in Sydney 8296 7072 or visit www.traveltheworld.com.au